Frustrated

I am frustrated, beyond belief! Every time I think I am taking the right step forward, I am pulled back 5 steps. Why is this? I mean, I honestly just do not understand?! I feel like, I have a good heart; I do for people, way more than people do for me (in 98% of the cases). I took the pepper steps; I am educated, and have experience within my field. Yet, I am not able to find a suitable job. Am I destined to work at Starbucks, for the rest of my life? I have an MBA, and I am a Barista at Starbucks, because I can’t find a job. I am also limited by the fact, I live in North Carolina, and do not own a car. The biggest irony is, I will never be able to afford a car, because I work at Starbucks. It is said to say, that a company that makes as much money as Starbucks, they do not pay their employees liveable wages. I am no snob; I do not expect to get paid the same amount as my “real” job, but what I get paid, is barely enough to pay my rent.

The past few years, I have been so frustrated, within my chosen field. I tell myself, “this is only temporary;” but when does temporary end? I have been in this “temporary” position forever. I am so tired of struggling!!! When will the damn struggle be over??? As I sit here and type this, I am fighting back tears. Why is life so hard for me? I know people who only have high school diplomas, that are successful in their careers; why am I sitting here crying, because I can’t find a job? Why am I not able to find a job? The sadest part is, I moved to NC, because the cost of living was low, and I wanted to work less, and write more. Being that I cannot find a job in my field, I have to work more and harder, just to survive; I do not write as frequently, as I hoped. I have been down here for almost three months, without any real progress. When will I progress in life?? I try to remain positive, and think positive thoughts, but it’s hard when nothing you do seems to pay off. When will my time come?

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